John Joannides
We Really Used Jumpers For Goalposts
Starting with a blank sheet of paper, electronic or not, it seems impossible to fill it with the flavour of a lifetime’s experience of England. Time passes, life is lived, one doesn’t take notes. The problem is exacerbated by a memory that could be described as lacking in one of the more rudimentary characteristics of a functional memory, that being the ability to remember things. I jest, but only a little.
I was brought up in an entirely continental family. Continental, that is, if you consider just the national origins of my parents. Both immigrants and both from different countries to each other one might be forgiven for thinking that an English upbringing was an unlikely outcome. Yet that was what my upbringing was. Entirely English. Except, perhaps, for the cuisine which had a fair smattering of Mediterranean dishes. What you lose in chips you gain in melanzanie and sun dried tomatoes I suppose.
A middle class English upbringing. That possibly makes me the enemy of the liberal and media classes and, if true, it is a situation that I am entirely happy with. After all, if I didn’t think that my way of life was a good one I would have changed it by now.
So to my England. That is a story of two parts. The first starts at year one and ends a few years ago. The second starts after that and is entirely submerged in a sea of politics and revolutionary thinking. Revolutionary in the constitutional sense that is.
I start with the first part and the England of my childhood. It was an England that I felt entirely comfortable with and relaxed in. Though not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, that England certainly felt to me as if it was inexorably tending towards the direction in which perfection snuggled impossibly out of reach. Warm, enticing springs. Long and wonderful summers peppered with perfect days that no foreign summer holiday, no matter how fantastically predictable the excellent weather was, could ever hope to achieve. Rich gold and red autumns where the leaves that were piled high on the streets demanded attention and where the smell of them burning in local gardens filled the neighbourhood on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Cold, drab winters where the drizzle seemed to feature regularly on a Monday morning school day. Fishing over at Jack’s lake, the Totteridge Long Ponds, the illicit Lady Byng’s lakes. Shooting with air rifles. Conkers. Cycling on Raleigh Choppers and Grifters. It was, in many ways, an excellent childhood. Right now, I guess, a few cynical readers are mumbling something about “jumpers for goalposts”. Yes indeed, there will be no apologies on that front coming from me. More to the point, there were jumpers for goalposts just about anywhere there was an open stretch of green. Not a “no ball games” council sign in sight. Heady days indeed, even if viewed through these rose coloured spectacles.
Later came a Polytechnic education. Remember those? Public houses. Remember those? They were the ones with esoteric beers, proper pint glasses and drab food. You might recognise them these days as suburban restaurants serving a world class array of dishes and drab lagers in bright surroundings. Back in the day pubs had character, these days most seem to have the same character. It is a part of England that has progressed to such an extent that we are in danger of losing something very special and almost uniquely English.
I spent a great deal of time back then under an array of classic cars, predominantly of the Triumph variety, and I was not the only one by any stretch of the imagination. People jest about the lone Englishman in his garden shed or workshop but it is a tradition that I hold dear. I’m one of those Englishmen. From my perspective if you’ve never run down to the nearest breakers yard, bought and engine for thirty quid and fit it in the same day then you should think yourself accurs’d. Your manhood is cheap. Mine is covered in engine oil.
I don’t want to get too misty eyed about this but in some ways my England was like my old Triumph. Hobbled together from whatever came to hand over many, many years. Parts from here, parts from there collectively bringing a uniqueness to the machine. A machine that ran well and would continue to run well as long as the choices of what to replace and what not to replace were well considered and wisely made. I was responsible for making those choices for the old car, which I still have today. Original she is not. Fit for purpose she most certainly is.
This brings me neatly to my second England. The England of today. The England of political and constitutional upheaval. The choices made by our representatives on behalf of England have been foolish and no matter how hard they try to ignore or drown out the knocking sounds coming from under her hood she will eventually need attention. The sound is now so loud that people in the street pass comment. Sooner or later the problem of asymmetrical devolution and equal national representation will have to be addressed.
Some of us have thrown ourselves entirely into the maelstrom of this constitutional weather system and have, on more than once occasion, been chastised for it. In the early days it was dinner parties and quiet drinks that would descend into unreasonableness. I would gently guide the conversation away from football, sex or whatever and onto weighty matters such as politics and devolution and people would listen for five minutes and then glaze over. Eventually I would be told something similar to “you worry too much” or “England is fine, we don’t need any more politicians”. And that was the way it was for some time.
Then, out of the blue, one of my friends cornered me on a night out, looked me in the eyes and said “I gotta say you were right”. Gradually they came on side, many without coaxing as the national press had finally taken up the issue. One friend went incandescent and the remnants of the glow can be seen to this day. That was my fault; I mentioned to him something that John Prescott (a New Labour member of the British parliament) had once said about England and it not being a proper nation. Kabooooom.
What England means to me now is tangled up with the struggle for national political equality in the British Union and as the struggle continues my respect for the idea of Britain and Britishness (whatever the latter is) declines. To me the British Union has become an entirely administrative concept. England is my home, my nation, my entire point of view and fighting for the right of her people to choose the best form of government for their needs is the only choice that this Englishman can make.
John is the blogger behind The England Project
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John, set yourself a target. Go into any pub, strike up a conversation with the guy at the bar, and bet yourself that within 5 minutes he will agree with everything you say.
Once they know, once the mushroom compost has been wiped from their eyes, they will see, they will agree that our argument is unchallengable and our cause is 100% just.
Alfie the OK
27 Feb 08 at 8:16 am
Nice article John.
But I have to ask myself - precisely what is it that is rattling under the hood?
English discontent? Media hysteria? A direction-less government? The monarchy? The parliamentary system? The private finance initiative? Devolution? Nationalism? Unionism?
Maybe it’s all these things to some, but for me it is simply lack of identity. The English have been dealt a bum hand by devolution - and they’re upset, because they have been forced by the Scots, Welsh and Irish to ditch the idea and identity of Britishness, and adopt something that they are unfamiliar with - a sense of tribal self.
If you ask me, this website is a great forum in which to help us develop that identity, by simply de-politicising the discussion, and letting the common man beat his chest.
To reduce our lack of identity down to a demand for another house full of politicos, over simplifies, and will not necessarily solve, the problem.
If we were going to just talk about political solutions … my preferred solution would be to dissolve the monarchy and the aristocracy and reunite Great Britain within a federal Europe. (Does that make me any less English?) ;-)
Bart Hulley
28 Feb 08 at 7:46 am
Hi John.. thank you for that essay…
I have been pondering on the English identity for a while now - and your childhood memories of England I can relate to..
Our traditional culture seems to have been abandoned completely… personally - it has left me feeling abandoned by my country…
I do hope that it is a reflection of a break through from something old and outdated to something new and relevant… but what will the new culture be, and who will lead it? How will traditionalists be able to let go.. and how will the nation agree on what it wants for the future?
We definately need a new national anthem, and an English Parliament - PLUS an honest, inspiring, strong English leader… Does anyone believe that scenario is within reach??? And even if we’re presented with it… how many people will there be waiting to knock him/her off his/her pedestal and will hope of a brighter future be destroyed by powerful propoganda….
Tina
4 Mar 08 at 1:15 am
Being english to me means being free its means i have the right of free speech it means i can wear what i want and be with anyone that would want me with there own free will
our nation is a proud one our culture is rich and we have made possibly one of the biggest impacts on the planets history we have fought for freedom we have helped our allies even when we are clearly out numbered
we had an empire where our infulece is still strong within them countrys were we gave them freedom
i admit england has done some very nasty things in its entire history but what country has not
france. had over thrown there own monarchy and unified under napolion counquer most of spain and was moving making navel moves on england why so they can conquer what would of happened exterminnation its a fact the best way to destroy a peoples sprit is to destroy half of them
germany. germany has had more them one bloody encouter but the most bloodest is the holo causts of world war 2 the killed millions for an ideal of pure blood
denmark were the desendensts of vikings and in the early dark ages they attacked like mad killing raping and murder all for fun and money
america wow what can i say about this baby country thats right one of the newest nations of this country and what happened when ya give a kid a bunch of macthes there gonna get burnt america have caused so many problems they interfire in the worlds affairs one to many times but they have bled for england in world war 2 and that i respect but they greatest acts where the 2 nuclear bombs on japan that oblitarated a part of it killing millions
but dont get me wrong europe have a bad history but we have progressed but at a price we as a people have to give up being english cause in 200 years the last of the pure blooded english with have died out the way out goverment is running
lol but the point to this essay is that i love england with all my heart its has probs and a bad history why is it we are attacked all the time by so many sites and people is it jelouslys or anger i just wish people would explore england and not just a couple of parts of it
I.E the news the Sun or london area
carlton
3 Apr 08 at 11:00 am
Just face it England is a terrible place to live. never have i been to a country that is more concerned about immigrants than its own people. What happened to Great Britian, i see nothing great anymore. I hope England and the UK can pull themselves out of this rut. You were once such a powerful country, but now, the whole world is laughing at you.
Shame Shame Shame
Sara Pearce
11 Aug 08 at 10:41 am
Sara,
Certainly there are areas in which England can improve but that can be said of every nation in the World. I don’t, frankly, recognise the label you assign to England; I don’t go through my daily life considering England terrible and I very much doubt that significant others do to.
There are places, sure, that are, but like I say that is true of the whole world.
And as for being a powerful country. That matters little to those of us who do not crave for and seek out power. Point your accusatory finger at the British government sitting in Westminster. I know that I do and I will continue to do so until they finally allow the people of England the same nation voice as it has afforded the other more fortunate nations of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
I am open to persuasion that the whole world is laughing at us, though I strongly suspect that the accusation is fantasy. You do realise how big the whole world is don’t you?
John Joannides
24 Aug 08 at 5:25 am
Great article, I too recognise the old England you talk of. The Country is still great, just being run down by too many people living here, largely the political class. I would prefer the United Kingdom to be just that, all the nations assisted in building and protecting it and deserve the credit but that does not give them the right to wear a chip on their shoulder. Like the man said “united we stand, divided we fall”. Unfortunately the political class and their hangers on are the problem and it was intentional. This applies to all the parties, the sooner they are disolved the better.
Derek W. Buxton
20 Sep 08 at 6:40 am
Nice post and I recognise much of the England of your youth which you describe.
But what is the England that you fight for? I am guessing it is not delimited by blood or *cough* race -an England whose inhabitants enjoy an unthinking unity and recognise themselves as different to all the rest. I suspect that you believe that anyone, from anywhere can be an Englishman. In which case your England is just a hollow, meaningless administrative region, its people lacking connection to the past or future.
AgainsTTheWall
22 Sep 08 at 5:11 am
I remember the England of your childhood. It is the England of my childhood too.
Just before O levels I moved back to the States. I am originally from this side of the pond and have been living here since before Thatcher.
It seems to me that England has always been a bit more liberal than the USA, and that is not necessarily a bad thing, but in the 1970s, the liberals on both sides of the Atlantic went to extremes. The Democrats here had the tax levels up to 70% for the highest income earners and had thoroughly destroyed the economy.
Both of our countries reacted to that extreme leftishness by swinging to the right. In the UK perhaps too far - because in reaction to the far right she has swung left again with a vengeance and that is where devolution came from (one of the sources). It created an environment that both drove the non English countries to WANT to separate and also created a national environment where they could separate.
I will offer one ray of hope for you though. If you can achieve a balance between full devolution and full nationalism you will get a nice Federalist system. Don’t look to the modern USA for direction, instead look at the writings that converted the original 13 colonies to become the first States.
Let each have full autonomy and do not over empower the central authority (or you’ll have a whole EU mess in microcosm not on your doorstep, but in your house!)
But do consider one thing. The whole of the British identity is much like the old Roman identity. It is not the English that lost anything by becoming British, it is that when the Irish, Welsh, and Scots went their own way, they quit being English. So you can be English and British or Scottish and British.
I am a Texan and an American. At least while the federal government is under control, one identity does not conflict with the other.
And good luck.
Freitag
2 Dec 08 at 2:48 pm
The English of England have always had a separate culture to that of the Celts.
Today the forums and media tell us that devolution has given England less than it has given the Celts with their full devolution.
English culture is one where fairness is paramount. Lack of equality of opportunity goes against the grain of English culture.
Everywhere you look in England, the flag of St George flutters or is on the back of cars, in lorries, and hanging from rear view mirrors in many vehicles.
Labour have agreed that they have lost touch with their core voters in England, which were from the past the native English and, in their case, working class.
The English are well on the way to separating as a distinct nation as an idea whose time has arrived. This is an observation of the trends.
Those not from England and from the former colonies might not comprehend that the English and Celts were always distinct peoples.
When Americans or Greeks, for example, say England, they mean the whole of mainland Britain, but, in fact, England means the land of the Angles, the Saxons, which is not the present-day regions of the Celts.
Culture and language are exactly the same thing, and the Celts have their own language, Gaelic, which was not the Germanic one of the Saxons. The Saxons and the Danes had vocabulary in common and so the synthesis that is English language.
Neither the Romans nor the Normans got into most of the Celt regions of today. The Romans left. The Romano-British reverted to their old customs and ways.
The Greeks, for example, did know the Celts long before they came to Britain, when they lived right across Europe.
Roman identity was empire and each culture still was distinct. The Greeks did not become Italians, for example.
Just observations.
We live in interesting times as far as England is concerned.
Those who are eligible to vote for any politicians in England rarely take advantage of the opportunity. Only the very few bother. I stopped voting years ago. Many English have also shown a disinterest in anything political or the news in conversation.
Yet this England devolution and even separate nationhood shows in this national flag-waving of the flag of St George.
Be assured that in Europe, nationalism is normal by the populations. There is no sense of being pan-European and that is ignored by people, as is most of the edicts.
The world is not laughing at England as it is absorbed in its own affairs, from its own cultural perspective within its own borders.
Just as the native English are uninterested in global news and are absorbed within ourselves.
But look on the internet and in a culture uninterested in voting and even less interested in politics, young English people (those with the least interest in voting in elections) have begun many English independence parties, which have survived (it appears) beyond initial euphoria.
This is the most significant fact.
For as Neil Kinnock’s famous gaff - “Going about England, stirring up apathy” - we are famous for being apathetic.
If the English want a separate nation for England then it will come about as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But having a separate nation is one thing.
Having an English cultural integration policy for newcomers is another. Re the quote from above - “John Prescott (a New Labour member of the British parliament) had once said about England and it not being a proper nation.”
Cultural enclaves are important for newcomers. They always have been.
But countries in Europe have such courses available to integrate newcomers culturally into their national cultures/language. Perhaps the English can learn from them.
Time will tell. But again it is an interesting phenomenon, which just might be unique on the planet.
Ana
9 Jan 09 at 5:50 pm
England will soldier on it always has if the celts want independence from the rest of us celts so be it because thats what we are most of english come from celts not saxons we were all living in one land it was our invaders who devided us we were known as britons there was no wales or scotland as for foriegn opinion who cares what they think we are an old country the america is a young place we as a nation have been through so much compared to america what would they know anyway england has many troubles but i would rather live here than any where
Lucy horlock
2 Feb 10 at 5:56 am